I will Love you, always.

Warning: Long post ahead, bear with me.


I went out for lunch today and had a good time with a couple of friends today and then went back with Evelyn to her house due to certain reasons; coughjuliecoughcough. While i was waiting, she had to get some things done and passed me lotsa reading materials. Among them were the 3rd edition of E.R. magazine, her AYD5 Moduls and a certain book she has (i don't remember the title) which elaborated on the parables used in the Bible, very thoroughly.

So, i started flipping through the E.R. magazine 1st. Picked and chose to read some sharings and i reached one which stood out to me. Don't remember the exact title, but it was a sharing on friendships. Let me, in my own words, explain. The author pointed out a question, one many of us at times dare not delve into and face our own doubts; What and who is a true friend? Do friendships last forever?

He went on with his experience, that in life, we lose so many of our friends to all sorts of things. And no matter how we try, especially at times when the realisation smacks us, we find that we don't have the power in our hands to save that certain friendship. The sharing was concluded with the reasoning i was familiar with; that we tend to lose our friends when their mission to touch us, teach us and guide us is completed. And though, in many ways, it is true, it still saddens me. I've been thinking about this too, losing your loved ones and it isn't the most uplifting thought one can have. It has happened, time and again for me, just drifting apart from friends i used to be close with, losing the sense of communication due to various reasons like immaturity, time constraint, distance etc. Of course, it's part and parcel of life. And that read only pronounced my sense of cliff- hanging more.

Pushing the thought aside because it's not good to go all emo at people's house it can't be helped at that moment anyway, i read through other things until Evelyn came down to get something and pointed out that book she brought to ASC the other time. Don't know why i hadn't noticed it lying on the table earlier, haha. Then for the hundredth time, she had to bounce back upstairs again. So, i took the book and read la.

The first parable was..the Prodigal Son. Which also happened to be something i'm thinking of lately. Well, how could you not if you had to read many times for Bible knowledge trial so that it's stuck in your brain it just appealed to me for some reason. Just if you wanna read,

11Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[a]'

22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

25"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

I read on and it briefly gave an account of the significance of some parts in the parable and of the customs and background. It went on to talk about love and that's when the author divided it into "four parts". The first was, Loving one to Existence. Speaks of creating love, which has resulted in our existing. Amusing again, because just last night we were chatting online about a closely-related topic.

The next part was the climax; I Will Love You, Always. I stopped reading after this part. The theme I Will Love You Always is taken from a song and when it was sung, there were people who questioned, "Why always? Why not; I will love you Thursday." or something like that, because whose love lasts forever? There comes moments in life, when we cease to love someone, even if just for the briefest of moments. The Prodigal Son was running away from everything, but in the end he came to his senses and returned to his father. And what did the father do, without questions, without holding back, he embraced the son and gave the best to him. That is "I Will Love You, Always." The desire to hold onto someone, to not let go and the longing that he receives the best; those surpasses time and is a constant hope. When i read this, it struck me that in some ways that it's exactly what i need to read at the moment. There are times, especially lately, when i feel so hopeless, as i watch people i care around me drown and that when i try, my outstretched arm isn't taken by them. It stings so when that happens. The verse, "much more is expected to whom much more is given to" kept replaying itself. But when i read that book, i faced the fact that we can't keep anyone forever.
If we could...where does that leave God?
Though i want so much to, i cannot stretch out my arm to everybody. That, is the work of Jesus as he stretched out his arm to Peter and i can only offer myself as an instrument for that.

What else does it matter? The assurance i am left with is that, when i cannot be there for people, the Father can, and at any point.. when i fail to love you always, God can.