Merry Christmas

Today, I am learning another day
what it means to lose you
Fourteen times fourteen
It will still be new
like morning's first dew.

I know you in the pitter-patter
like unceasing knocking on my door
I know you in the puddles
like that of my pouring heart
I know you in the rain
that once took my ache away.

I know you by the doorsteps of my soul
like the advent of how I waited so long ago
I know you by your coming home
though no longer like before.

I know you in the constellations
The same ones we've gazed and gazed
I know you in flash and thunder
where fear and awe met
I know you from how you held my hand
as you always have and kept me safe
for my Father's sake.

I know you in hollies and in lillies
I know you in tassels and bagels
I know you in hymns and songs
In the smell of books and grass
in dancing and making merry
and in saints and bells and sunbirds.

These lines have been hard to write
Lest they fall short of your love
and speak the truth of my might.
Yet hidden in my shadows
is where you've always been happy to thrive
Bigger than my dreams-
Bigger than life.

And now,
I know you in joy
I know you in smiles
I know you in sorrow and tears
I know you in all the faces and years
I know you in every life's season
and I hold you like never before
because I now know you.

Today, I am learning another day
what it really means to lose you
(I will learn and learn
'til I learn no more-
O blessed day!)
and learn I never really do.

Merry Christmas and I love you.